Nostalgia Game Review: Dungeon Siege (and the movie)

Dungeon Siege is an older game that I played alot when I was younger, it was released in 2002.

The story of Dungeon Siege begins as you first customize your character and then jump into the boots of a young farmer. You quickly discover however that your peaceful farming lifestyle is coming to a close when your land is being attacked by a hostile race of things called "Krugs".

One of the possible appearances of your character in the game.

In the very beginning, one of your friend in the nearby farm comes to you and before he dies on your arms he tells you that you must go to the nearby village of Stonebridge to ask for help and find out a friend of his.

You begin your journey by arming yourself with your trusty pitchfork and go to kick some Krug ass.

As you go along your journey you will find new weapons, equipment and spells. From very early on, you can determine what your character will become, for example if you use alot of spells, your character will level up in his magic, allowing you to equip items and spells specifically for a magic user.

Same thing with melee and ranged weapons.

On your journey you find people willing to help you, whether they willingly follow you or you have to pay gold to recruit them, you will get to recruit quite of an entourage even up to 7 people (I don't know the exact amount) as seen in the picture above. You can also reject their offers and not recruit them, although I don't recommend it.

You can also buy packmules which can carry your stuff, as there's an enourmous stuff of things to find in this game, it can be impossible to even think of carrying it all by yourself.

The gameplay of Dungeon Siege is a mixture of pause-and-go tactical management and point-and-click action. It first reminded me of games like Diablo and the like.

What I always liked about Dungeon Siege and what made it so epic is it's story and scope.

You start as a humble farmer that rises up to the challenge and recruits people to his cause and travels all across the land, which includes forests, deserts, mines, mountains, cliffs and all sorts of locations.

It made it feel like you're playing a movie like Lord of the Rings or something.

Visiting towns and it's inn's and taverns and talking to people, and equipping your characters with new equipment. It was awesome.





THE MOVIE ADAPTATION

Of course, likely if you've heard about Dungeon Siege anywhere recently, it's because there's a movie of it. Yeah, I'd like to stop right there, you know why?

Because it's made by fucking Uwe Boll


Love how the guy next to Uwe is like "Yeaaah! You really showed them off, dude!

If you don't know who Uwe Boll is, he's a German idiot who's done some of the worst movies of all time. His movies are mostly game adaptations, such as House of the Dead, Postal and Alone in the Dark, you get the idea.

As for Dungeon Siege, he couldn't get the rights for the name Dungeon Siege so instead he decided to call it "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."

So basically the movie is about a guy named Farmer, you get it? Farmer? The person in the game is a farmer, so they name him that. When I first heard that I was like wow. I mean you couldn't even give him a real name? If he is a farmer in the movie, surely you could address it without actually calling him that. Since they didn't get the rights to the real Dungeon Siege title they try to tie the movie with the game as much as possible. It's ridiculous. Even in the game the character isn't called Farmer, you can name him what you want.

Anyway, like to expect, the plot is as generic as ever, a guy going to save his wife and revenge his son's death and confront an evil wizard.



Time for the casting roll call! We have Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, Kristanna Loken, Burt Reynolds and Ray Liotta!

I mean, HOW IN THE FUCK does Uwe Boll always get these kinds of actors into his movies? Have none of them heard of his craptastic reputation?

Also, Kristanna Loken was in another Uwe Boll movie called Bloodrayne (another game adaptation), but wasn't in the sequel. I only expected it was because the first one was so shit that she didn't want to have anything to do with the second one, but she agreed to do Dungeon Siege? I don't get it.

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."

And being able to make an action movie starring Jason Statham that's this bad, is an accomplishment as itself.

Well that's all I have to say about that. Play the game, but stay away from the fucking movie.